Lo más que puedo hacer es simbólicamente darte una mano, sé lo que se siente necesitar revivir ciertas facetas de nuestra vida, pero actualmente tengo tanto chocolate en mi sistema que las emociones no se me manifiestan mucho…
Un abrazo…
7 hours agoCurrently blinking back tears, alone in my living room. I have the lights bright with some candles burning- still not used to the fact that I look out our side window to see the remaining kisses of sunlight left in the sky; it’s only 5:45. Trying to cheer myself with Pandora, candy, and a fancy party to go to, but nothing seems to distract me from the fact that my family just left, driving off into the horizon, and I still have the urge to run after them crying for them to let me in the van, too. Let me come home with you, too. Let me have my comforts back. Real life is hard.
I want so badly to feel completely at home here, but I don’t. I don’t feel at home anymore in Toledo, either. I have no home, it feels. I love my job - I love marriage. I even love my condo. But if I think too hard about it, I just miss so much of Toledo, and so much of my family. I can’t stand that I can’t see them whenever I want. I can’t ask Rachel to go to Wildwood with me; I can’t swing by my mom’s on Saturdays. I can’t stop by Calvino’s, I can’t ask my dad to come down for a weekend, I can’t have any peaceful afternoons at Biggby’s upstairs. Is it just that the grass is always greener on the other side? Is it because I never had this experience going away to college? Am I just too sentimental? Whatever it is, Jesus, give me your peace.
